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like water follows water

  • Jan. 4th, 2008 at 9:01 PM
cuz i have had something to prove
as long as i know something
that needs improvement
and you know that everytime i move
i make a woman's movement
and first you decide what you've gotta do
then you go out and do it
and maybe the most that we can do
is just to see eachother through it

and too much is how i love you
but too well is how i know you
and i've got nothing to prove this time
just something to show you
i guess i just wanted you to see
that it was all worth it to me

I haven't posted much lately because I haven't had anything pleasant to say.  I've been wallowing.  I'm not apologizing for it and I'm not about to stop, but I have to be positive.  So.  3 positive things about today, and one good Josh story, because it makes me happy to think about.

1.  Jello.
2.  I am rearranging the living room today - something I have been meaning to do for quite a while.  That's one goal down.
3.  I am about to finish care package #4 for him.  I have mailed one so far and have 3 more here waiting to go.

And a Josh story.  Not long after we moved in together, there was a point where we were apart for about a month.  It was election year, about a month before the presidential elections, so it was heavy VIP season.  He was gone on a two week and then was diverted for another week before he had a chance to come home, and two days before his return I got the notice that I was heading to San Francisco.  Twelve hours before he got home, my team mate and I had to hit the road.  We drove down around a nine and a half hour trip to Panorama City.  When my week at SF was up, we drove back and I got pretty sick, so Amber had to drive the majority of the way. We left right after we were released because she knew how badly I wanted to get home (she was pretty awesome that way.)  When I got home around 4AM, I got into bed as quietly as I could because he was sleeping, but I saw shadows that didn't look right on the dresser.  When I turned on the bathroom light, I realized two things:

1.  Sitting on the dresser was a vase with two red roses, a new jewelry box (he had seen me admiring at Target over a month before), three cards, a Playboy bunny keychain (I <3 the bunny) and some bunny mints.  All set up in this gorgeous little romantic display about six days before my 22nd birthday.

2.  He wasn't asleep.  He had been waiting for me to get home and feigned sleep until I saw the flowers.

Thanks to Kim for the 3 positive things idea.

Dec. 11th, 2007

  • 3:08 PM
I am back to the old LJ drawning board. See how long this lasts. Too much happens for me to write about anymore.


  • Aug. 20th, 2007 at 9:28 PM
I hopped on the Myspace bandwagon....Kind of ashamed. I am just en masse adding people so don't be surprised if you make it on my friends list!


  • Aug. 3rd, 2007 at 11:29 AM
I spent all this afternoon waiting on my washer and dryer to get here.  When they got here, the movers hooked up the washer and pushed it into place but they didn't plug anything in.  I plugged in the washer and started a big load of laundry only to realize that they only plugged in the hot and cold water, but not the drain.  Why, you might ask?  Well, because when Greg and Jason took the old washer, they TOOK the drain.  Okay.  Whatev.  I tried to plug in the dryer only to realize that it has three prongs, while our outlet has four.  Huh.  Ok, no huge deal.  This is simple, I don't even need to ASK for help at the store!

Go to the hardware store.  While I'm there, I get a bunch of pretty awful phone calls on the standby phone - someone is having a personal crisis.  Dealt with it best I could.  Turns out (after wracking my brain for half an hour before I asked for help), they don't have the plumbing piece I need, but they do have the electrical.  Cool.  Guy refers me to a new place where they have everything and they're pretty cool.  Sweet.  On my way.

Get home and spend the next three hours screwing around with this stuff.  Get the washer hooked up after screwing around with the tubing forever trying to cut it to the right size (tapered end).  Get the dryer hooked up (after several failed attempts with the vent).  Get everything good to go, finally.  Put the load of laundry on and go to check my email.  Ahh.  This is nice, listen to a little music, read some blogs... wait, what's that sound?  Why, it's water pouring everywhere!  Great.  Shut it off, it still won't stop.  Apparently I f'ed up the tubing when I hooked it up and I will have to buy another to fix it.  Okay, well in the meantime ...Where are my towels?  Soaking wet in the washer.  Where is the shop vac?  No idea.  Where is the spot bot?  No idea!  So there's water standing in the laundry room as well as in the vent (unless it flows to the outside and happened to water the grass somewhere).  The light is on in there and I'm not even going to turn it off.  I am not stepping in there to unplug anything, either.  With my luck, there would be some Final Destination scene play out right there.  I can take (several) hints.  My ass is leaving it alone until tomorrow... fresh start.  No dying today.

Jul. 28th, 2007

  • 1:21 PM
I am too busy lately...


  • Jul. 10th, 2007 at 2:00 PM
i don't think i like codeine so much anymore. i woke up after eleven hours of sleep feeling like ass.

note to self: do not take full dose anymore.

just when you thought it was safe

  • Jul. 7th, 2007 at 4:13 PM
And I shed my soul, feel it kneeling down
I'm clutching my faith, pull it tightly round
You're moving your mouth but you don't make a sound
But I feel the walls slowly tearing down
Heel to toe takes you from my side
In and out, every breath divides
My eyes to your head,
I can't go the distance
But when you go you take me in an instant
In this life, I'll give it time
'Cause it's always pushing up from behind
It'll be alright, it will be fine
'Cause it's nothing more than ordinary life
And I show you my sins, show me all your scars
As we settle in, it's written in the stars
Your watery eyes got me, send me floating
And my weak heart is swimming with devotion
But in this life
I'll give it time
'Cause it's always sneaking up from behind
It'll be alright, it will be fine
It's nothing more than ordinary life

So I
... am an airman leader.
...like my roommates.
...am single. and dating.
...quit drinking.
...quit smoking.
...have bronchitis.
...miss home.
...have started class.
...haven't failed a test yet.
...am having the most trouble with school i've ever had in my life.
...am fed up with guys. and dating.
...am reading Steven King's Everything's Eventual.
...am wondering when it's best to give the ex back his stuff. (my friend says when I go home)
...am bitter. all the time.
...loved Red Dragon
...thought The Rules of Attraction sucked. badly.
...hate being on an Army post.
...was issued my chem and radiation suits, respectively, and my flak jacket on Friday.
...watched Enough last night and it made me cry and just brought all kinds of things to mind that I hadn't thought about in a long time.
...call my mom almost every day.
...watched Breakfast at Tiffany's with some friends last night too and it wasn't surprising that I still cry at the ending every time.
...have nothing left to say.
...am extremely bored.
...am wondering if I'll get any calls today. probably not.

Jul. 5th, 2007

  • 3:21 PM
I put in my application to be an Airman Leader this morning.


I mean, I know I can handle it, I just also know it's going to be a pretty big challenge for me. I'm still a little in shock that I had the guts to turn in the application... my class will start in a week and a half to earn my rope. My class for my JOB starts Tuesday. It's about damn time.

confessions of a not-quite pr0n star

  • Jul. 3rd, 2007 at 7:13 PM
Amusing story for the day:
I always have my blinds up and window open. Always. It's never been a problem because no one is ever home in the building across from mine.
So today, I'm taking a shower and getting ready to go out(more about that in a minute) when my roommate, who is on CQ today(read: reception) comes up and says there are a couple of guys looking for me down in the office. She catches me right as I'm stepping out of the shower. I, of course, rush to pull some clothes on and get downstairs because she doesn't know who they are... completely forgetting about the blinds.
So I go down and talk to my friends, and when I get back into the room, a guy I know in the room exactly opposite mine and up a floor in the next building yells to get my attention, and asks for my number. I give him my extension and he calls... and says that a bunch of guys were watching as I got dressed. They liked my tattoo. Isn't that wonderful?

How's that for a red face?

Oh, and the place I'm going tonight? A strip club, with some guy friends. Irony just *loves* to kick me in the ass.


  • Jul. 1st, 2007 at 11:21 AM
 so.... things are busy lately, to say the least. sorry I have not updated in awhile but lots has happened!
1. I'm on an army base. Hoorah!... Actually, I don't mind. Except for the Marines; I hate Marines.
2. My boyfriend is coming to visit in about three weeks, the weekend after I start classes, and he's strongly hinted more than once that he's visiting to propose. It's a little intimidating but I would lie if I said I weren't happy.
3. I really don't talk to people from home anymore. Dave called and picked a fight last weekend so uhhh... we don't talk. He called last night and left a number but I'm not sure if I want to call him yet.
4. I turn twenty two months from today. Hoorah!
5. I hang out at a bar like every night playing pool and chillin. It's a great way to be.
6. I should be home for recruiter's assistance sometime mid-December or January. If my classes don't end til January, I'm not sure if I'm coming home for Christmas. Or maybe I will, but I'll have to pay for the entire visit and then to come home for RA... which would suck ass becase I have no financial management skills and E1 peeps get crap pay.
7. I have lots of things to be able to do tonight so it's SHOWER TIME and I will go have hella fun. Also canoeing tomorrow, scorage! Also I'm getting a tan, as soon as my sunburn is faded. Maximum scorage!